-A real story about how my life changed after accutane (isotretinoin)-

I am going to tell you what happened to me after accutane treatment.

My name is AfterAccutane, I don't want to reveal my real name, because what happened to me has sexual contents which I am ashamed of.

I was born in 1980. I graduated from technical university and I am an engineer.

I have always been an analytical guy and always liked maths, physics, chemistry and all kind of scientific things and that is also why I have become an engineer years later. I always liked to analyse "causes and effects". This analytic thinking is still why I am paid at work.

So, what happened to me is real and I am sure what caused it. I am not going to share my comments (I am afraid to be sued) so I am going to tell you in a plain text..

In January 2014, it is the date I took my first pill. I was pescribed Zoretanin 40mg/day for cosmetic purposes. I never had acne, it was some pimples there and here on my face. One pimple was clearing up, but another was poping somewhere else.

Here is the point; I didn't even go to dermatologist for pimples, I went there for some skin problem on my leg. During examination of my leg, I mentioned about my pimples and he offered me accutane. I was aware of the side effects of this drug but I didn't know that they could be permanent. I asked if there is any risk and I said that there are some claims in the internet that this drug can be dangerous. He said that I shouldn't listen to these rumours and he assured that there is absoulutely no risk. He said it was a synthesis of vitamin A and I shouldn't believe in what I read in the internet. So, he was the doctor, there was no risk and it was only some kind of vitamin A. I said OK. In the meanwhile I asked if I could take some alcohol and he said "In my treatment there is noooo limitation, you can drink but don't drink too much." I said OK. He was the professional, he was the doctor, he convinced me.

That day is the day I made my worst decision.

January 2014. Before this date, I was doing great; doing sports, bodybuilding and no drugs, no supplement, no steroid, no smoke, no weed, nothing. I was eating healthy, feeling great, thankful to life, the spirit, god and I was realy enjoying life. I had a good career and I had a lovely lover. Life was realy the best.

The first month of accutane treatment, there was only dry lips and dry hairs and they were normal right?

The second month I remember some things that I was not aware of during the treatment but now I think I was already experiencing some side effects. I remember saying to my lover "why is this street so dark?" I guess my night blindness had already started and I was not really realising it. I was getting weaker in sports but I never thought that it could be due to accutane.

Suddenly, after two months passed, in the beginning of March 2014 everything collapsed. This was the day I entered a total different world; world of regret, weakness, despair and world of health problems.

In March, I realised something, which was odd. I was having no more morning erections. That was strange. I went to bathroom and looked at the mirror. The worst nightmare of a male human being, I was not able to have an erection. How was that possible? I had no idea. Normaly stretching my penis was enough to have an erection but no matter what I try, I could not achieve an erection. My penis was stuck in a flaccid state and was so small like I was inside a very cold water (men know what I mean). It was tinny, short and small. It was shrunken. It was shrivelled. It was dry. What I first did is googling "accutane sex". What google first found was horrible:

Sexual complications in people treated with Accutane | RxISK "

I read other stories, which were not nice and I found myself in a deep sorrow. There were some statements that sexual complications may not be reversable. I was one of them. On of the unluckiest person on earth. Some people were having some health problems, rare problems, they were unlucky. And now, I was one of them. If you consider that drugs are there for 50 years? Maybe. I was poisened by a drug, and there was no cure. Mankind in the history had several problems, even the rarest illness with 0,000001% risk, there must be thousands of people because billions people lived and died. But since 50 years, how many people were effected by drug and had this kind of problem in the history. I was a member of this small unlucky group. Wtf

First I refused, I said no, this was a nightmare, everything was ok, but then I realised that I had to accept the condition.

I don't remember but, approximately one month after, I was still struggling in this nightmare, I suddenly started to have other problems. I started to hear some disturbing noise. It was similar like going outside from a loudy nigtclub and you hear this sound. It actualy goes away after a while but this was always there. Omg. I checked and it had a name: tinnitus. I started to have tinnitus. Wtf.

Still struggling with erectile dysfunction and tinnitus, I started to feel different. I was anxious, I was not ok, it was like something very bad was to happen. I even can not describe this situation, but believe me it is not nice. I was that day, I was driving to my lover and a very bad thing happened. I panicked, I was not able to calm down. It was me, I was there but the feeling was so strong that I could not stop this panic situation. Omg. Later on I calmed down and checked it, it had a name. I started to have panic attacks. Wtf

Still struggling with erectile dysfunction, tinnitus, panic attack, all of a sudden I started to loose muscle/nerve controls. It was so strong that I was not able to pee while standing. My legs were shaking, my hands, my fingers. I remember that I was not able to type a text on my cell phone. That was so bad. All my troubles, I were able to hide them, but I was not able to hide my shaking. Then I checked it and it had a name: I started to have tremors. Wtf

Still struggling with erectile dysfunction, tinnitus, panic attack and tremor, I was in the office and something bad happened; I was not able to read! There was something wrong in my viewpoint and I could not see the text. I was able to see the letter next, the letter before but not the letter in the middle. It was shocking. I said to myself, am I going to loose my vision too? It lasted for a view minutes. I found out that it was similar to "Scootoma". The disturbed vision went from middle to aside and went out from my vision. This was shocking. Luckly it happened only twice. But soon I realised that the light was disturbing me much more. And soon I realised that I was not able to see good in the night. There was something wrong in my contrast and brightness. When I was driving I were able to see the cars behind me and I could see some details before, but now the cars behind me were just two light spots and all black around. Everything was too dark in the night and especialy when I was turning off the light before going to bed, I could not see around for 1 minute. Normaly my eyes were adapting in seconds but now it was all dark. Then I checked it and it had a name: I started to be night blinded. Wtf

Night blindness was not my only vision problem. I was not able to decide where the corners and edges of "things" were. This is odd right, but sadly true. I was looking at a spoon and I couldn't focus on the edges. It was like I was not able to focus on subjects no matter how hard I try. Everything was like I was focusing to a distance and the way I see the objects closer to me. This was called double vision. Yes, that was my problem, but it is not like you see everything double, but it is like the subjects have double layers with a very small different positions. And that was also not my last vision problem. At night I was having troubles seeing the dark colors. It was like it was raining in the dark fields. Can you imagine this. You look at the dark fields and you see small flying things all around with high speeds, like a tv without an antenna. Very soon I started to see flying large yarns in my vision too. So bad, so sad. Anyway, then I checked them all and they had names: I was having night blindness, floaters and visual snow (thanks god visual snow is noticeable only in dark fields)

To be continued..